Wednesday, July 13, 2011

To Daven - The Purpose

I am addicted to davening.

Don't get me wrong. Sometimes it is boring and often I day dream and my mind wanders to the most random subconscious tasks that I have neglected to do over the last week. But I stand by what I wrote - I am addicted to davening.

Having started my day with prayers for the last 16 years, I cannot seemingly get my brain going until I have muttered, mumbled or chanted from my prayer book. Just yesterday I had to get up at 4:30 to go the airport. Although I was up and drove the car, conversed with passengers and negotiated over parking fees, I wasn't really functioning until I spent 15 minutes saying my prayers.

Post-prayer, I smiled more. I was more pleasant to people and felt more myself. My davening wasn't anything so 'special' but over time I have realized that for me, davening is a ritual that gets me ready for the day ahead, almost regardless of what I actually say. The 'almost' is the key part, because even when I am half asleep, I have highlighted in my siddur verses that will tug at me and push me to be better, to not operate like a robot, and to make this prayer slightly different then the last.

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