Preparing for a Special Bar Mitzvah

The following video is an appeal for donations for a day school in New Jersey. I encourage you to watch the video to learn about the challenging process Tuviya's family went through to find the right school and outlet for their son's personal and spiritual aspirations within a Jewish framework.

I was personally moved when watching this clip, thinking of my own bar-mitzvah training, of my parents, and now as a parent who will have to prepare a son for this coming of age ceremony.  However, thinking about the state of tefilla in schools, I can't help but be frustrated that schools and educators are not doing enough to make the most of the davening potential. No, let me clear - what is super frustrating it is that there isn't much of a conversation about the present state of tefilla in schools. And the below video, does show hope for us all.

MLK and Prayer

Today is a US federal holiday in honor of Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. - a man known as much for his oratory skills as his prayer prowess.

Prayer was a wellspring of strength and inspiration during the Civil Rights Movement. Throughout the movement, we prayed for greater human understanding. We prayed for the safety of our compatriots in the freedom struggle. We prayed for victory in our nonviolent protests, for brotherhood and sisterhood among people of all races, for reconciliation and the fulfillment of the Beloved Community. 

For my husband, Martin Luther King, Jr. prayer was a daily source of courage and strength that gave him the ability to carry on in even the darkest hours of our struggle. 

I remember one very difficult day when he came home bone-weary from the stress that came with his leadership of the Montgomery Bus Boycott. In the middle of that night, he was awakened by a threatening and abusive phone call, one of many we received throughout the movement. On this particular occasion, however, Martin had had enough.  

After the call, he got up from bed and made himself some coffee. He began to worry about his family, and all of the burdens that came with our movement weighed heavily on his soul. With his head in his hands, Martin bowed over the kitchen table and prayed aloud to God: "Lord, I am taking a stand for what I believe is right. The people are looking to me for leadership, and if I stand before them without strength and courage, they will falter. I am at the end of my powers. I have nothing left. I have nothing left. I have come to the point where I can't face it alone. 

Later he told me, "At that moment, I experienced the presence of the Divine as I had never experienced Him before. It seemed as though I could hear a voice saying: 'Stand up for righteousness; stand up for truth; and God will be at our side forever.'" When Martin stood up from the table, he was imbued with a new sense of confidence, and he was ready to face anything. 

--Coretta Scott King from "Standing in the Need of Prayer" as published by The Free Press, a division of Simon & Schuster.

Shaking Up Your School's Tefilla Options

The following is a school letter -shared by a loyal Davenspot reader - that was sent to parents at SAR Academy in Riverdale, NY.  I have heard some buzz from some parents who were pleasantly surprised by the school's attempt to shake up the davening status-quo and others who were angry at the disruption to the traditional framework of tefilla.  This is quite a bold step, especially for an Orthodox day school, and think this educational approach should be further studied and discussed; I will let you be the judge. 

______________________________________________ 

Dear Parents,

I would like to inform you of an important initiative we are about to embark upon regarding tefillah. As you know, this year our school wide theme is dveykut, God awareness. Through curricular programming in beit midrash groups and co-curricular programming such as color war we have been exploring ways of deepening our connection to God. Our daily tefillah presents an important opportunity to work on and strengthen this relationship.

Daily tefillah can be a challenging experience in Modern Orthodox schools. Meaningful tefillah takes great effort and concentration, and students come to tefillah with various levels of readiness to engage. We believe it is essential to immerse our students in a routine of tefillah. Each day, we set aside time to daven as Jews have for centuries. On our best days, our tefillah is inspired and meaningful; on other days, it is more rote. And at times there is a need to break from the routine in order to enrich, reflect upon and more fully appreciate the power of prayer. In that spirit and as part of our year-long theme, davening at SAR High School will look different during the week of January 7th.

During that week, we will be offering over twenty different tefillah options to our students. The options range from discussions of why we pray, to musical tefillah, to artistic expression to meditation. The goal of the experimental tefillah week is to provide students with different avenues to connect to tefillah and to encourage us to be inspirational in our relationship with God. After the experimental tefillah week students will have the opportunity to reflect upon their experience. We envision continuing some of the tefillah groups a few days a week throughout the year, and bringing aspects of others to enrich our regular minyanim.

Some practical information: Yesterday, students were presented with the list of tefillah options and asked to choose a few in which they are interested. Students will attend the same tefillah all week in order to ensure the richness of the experience. Some tefillah groups will daven the full tefillah and add elements, such as music or explanation. Some tefillah groups will daven an abridged פסוקי דזמרה in order to allow time for other experiences. On Monday and Thursday all students will hear קריאת התורה. As part of the women’s tefillah option, girls will have the opportunity to read from the Torah.

I would like to thank our remarkable faculty for the time and effort they have invested in creating these opportunities for our community. We could not embark upon this initiative without their tremendous dedication, actively engaging in opening up meaningful religious opportunities for our students.

We are excited about the opportunities for spiritual growth that this week will offer us on both a personal and communal level. We look forward to sharing our reflections with you.

Sincerely,

Rabbi Tully Harcsztark

Principal, SAR High School

DESCRIPTIONS OF TEFILAH GROUPS FOR THE DVEYKUT B’TFILAH WEEK

1. Explanatory Tefilah

Is Tefilah a struggle for you? Do you find yourself daydreaming during a long Pesukei D’Zimra? Do you feel alienated from most prayers? We hope to explore, think about, and begin to understand what it is we are really doing during tefilah and how each prayer leads into the next, creating a beautiful tapestry. We will focus on a shorter, but more meaningful tefilah experience, culminating in a unique Hitbodidut (solitary) engagement with Tefilah and God.

2. מעט בכוונה

Today's fast-paced world makes it difficult to pray with concentration and serenity. For many, the weekday Shacharit has unfortunately become about getting through all the words as quickly as possible. Theמעט בכוונה tefilah will provide the opportunity to say fewer tefillot at a slower pace. This will allow for greater concentration on each tefilah that we say. We will be not be discussing tefilah. Instead, this minyan will spend almost all of its timedavening, with a particular focus on the Amida.

3. Children's Literature Tefilah

We will aim to attain some emotional resonance in the feelings of care, love, longing, and hope that are latent in powerful works of children’s literature. We will read 2-3 children's books before, during, and after the tefilah. Ultimately, we will direct those feelings to God (and hope for those feelings from God) and to those around us through tefilah. 

4. Help, Thanks, Wow - Children's Literature Tefilah

We will aim to attain some emotional resonance in the feelings of care, love, longing, and hope that are latent in powerful works of children’s literature. We will read 2-3 children's books before, during, and after the tefilah. Ultimately, we will direct those feelings to God (and hope for those feelings from God) and to those around us through tefilah. The novelist Ann Lamott just published a book called Help, Thanks, Wow: The Three Essential Prayers. The title pretty much gives it all away--she argues that there are three most basic and most important prayers: we ask God for help, we thank God for the help that God has already bestowed, and we marvel at the wonders of God’s creation. The "Help, Thanks, Wow" tefilla will begin the week by reading an excerpt from Lamott's book to explore why these are the essential prayers. On subsequent days, everyone in the "Help, Thanks, Wow" tefilla will be asked to formulate a Help, a Thanks, and a Wow of his/her own, and those who feel comfortable doing so can share theirs with the group. In doing so, we will burrow beneath the ritual of a shul davening to get back to the essential nature of prayer.

5. Meditation Tefilah

This tefilah incorporates guided meditations through a minimal, halakhic tefila. The meditations are based on both Jewish and universal practices, including meditations from Sefer Yetzira and chasidic texts, as well as the practice of zazen, the breathing and body practices of Zen Buddhism. This tefilah also incorporates contemplative nigunim either between tefillot or to the words of a select tefilah.

6. Musical Tefilah

Inspired by the davening of Karlin (where there is a lot of screaming and crying out in the midst of prayer) and that of Rabbi Ebn Leader, we will cultivate a davening which is rooted in song. Sometimes repetitive, sometimes quiet and slow, sometimes loud and overpowering, music has the power to both express and stir up an emotional davening. This davening is for the sincere and not the cynical. Please bring your hearts, souls, voices, and musical instruments!

7. Women’s Tefilah

Women’s tefilah provides an all-girls space in which girls run and lead the davening. On Monday and Thursday girls will layn and get aliyot. We will also have an opportunity to learn and discuss tefillot written by and for women. 

8. Reflection Tefilah

In this tefilah, we will explore themes that emerge from various passages in the siddur. Each day, we will choose a particular tefilah to study, reflect on its theme, and write personal responses. We will pay specific attention to the themes of gratitude, wonder, forgiveness, peoplehood, and aspiration as they present themselves throughout the Shacharit service. Please bring a pen and paper/journal to this tefilah. 

9. Solitary Tefilah

This tefilah option is about connecting to God and yourself at your own pace in a quiet atmosphere. Everyone will have his/her own makom kavua with no 2 chairs next to one another. You will daven quietly, pace yourself, focus on the tefillot that are meaningful to you, and you can daven in whatever language you choose. You will be in an environment of prayer, but you will be davening alone, without interruption, and with only your own mind, heart and siddur, to guide you. For the last 5 minutes of each day we will come together as a group and reflect on the solitary tefilla experience. 

10. Tefilat Eit Tzara
The Ramban claims that the Biblical obligation to daven is only in times of crisis. In this minyan we will daven a quick psukei dezimra, followed by a 10 minute multimedia presentation and discussion preceding Barchu. Through the presentation and discussion we will learn about a particular crisis with the goal being to focus our tefillot on addressing a different issue each day. Issues will cover national, international and personal itei tzara.

11. Yoga Tefilah

Being in the right mood for tefilah is about mental focus and physical composure. In this tefilah group we will practice Yoga as a means towards achieving better focus and kavannah during tefilah. Bring a yoga mat if you have one, and make sure to dress appropriately for תפילה 

12. Tisch Tefilah
Stories and song are a powerful way of connecting to God. At this tefilah we will daven an abridged tefilah, followed by a vibrant tisch filled with inspiring song and stories.

13. Without Intelligence, Whence Prayer?
This service will attempt to clear the space in which meaningful tefilah can happen by focusing on intellectual reflection as a means of overcoming alienation from authentic prayer. Each day, prior to a slightly abbreviated tefilah, we will recite the birkhot ha-torah together and then study and discuss a different text essential to a satisfactory, and satisfying, practice of prayer. The explicit goal is to evoke the nature of tefilah in a manner that will initiate and enhance its heartfelt performance. 

14. Exploring Nusach Tefilah

This tefilah will explore nuschaot of tefilla from around the world by davening in a different nusach each day. We will highlight some of the major differences between Ashkenaz, Sefard, Eidot mizrach, and Nusach Ha-Ari.

15. Philosophy and Poetry of Prayer

Why should we pray? Does God really listen? Should I expect God to say "yes"? Is it really all about that, anyway? We will explore different philosophies of prayer, also using some of the tefillot themselves as our guide. פסוקי דזמרה will be shortened.

16. Shout it Out, Slow and Loud

This tefilah will employ the technique found in many sefaradi shuls in the world that all the words of the hazan are said out loud and together with all members of the kahal. We will say selected parts of the pesukei dezimra and tachanun on Mondays and Thursdays, skipping parts of those sections in the standard siddur, while saying the parts that we do say slowly, out loud and with a tune or two.

17. Piano Tefilah

After an abridged davening we will join together around the piano in the cafeteria for lively songs and stories to add joy to our day.

18. Artistic Expression Tefilah

Art is often likened to meditation- and by creating art we become closer to ourselves, nature and God. Students participating in Art/Tefilah option will daven an abbreviated tefilah and have time to create art with particular mindfulness toward spirituality.

19 Finding God in our Prayers

Are our prayers directed to God, to ourselves, or to our community? In this tefilah, a science teacher reflects on the meaning of particular prayers, especially those connected to health and wellness. We will daven an abridged davening, followed by stories and discussion.

20. Meditating on the Amidah

Using basic meditative breathing we will work through a minimal amount of davening and then focus on the thirteen central berachot of the Amida. We will learn to be present with our breath, our bodies and with the words of the siddur. In addition, time will be spent inserting ourselves into the prayers so that we are reciting our own words and not only the words of our tradition.

21. Israel Awareness Tefilah

Every morning we mention the land of Israel numerous times in our prayers, but how much attention do we really pay to it? This tefilah will highlight the portions of davening that focus on Israel. We will use those sections of tefilah as entryways into discussion of current political, religious and social issues facing the State of Israel. Through increased awareness of Israel’s current state of affairs we will be better equipped to direct our tefillot for her welfare.

22. Prayer and Justice- L’taken Olam B’malchut Shakkai

We will explore how tefilah can make change in the world. Join us for meditation, learning, and davening that connects Judaism's most heavenly ideas to our world's most real problems.

Davening at 40,000 Feet

Everyone who has flown to Israel, usually on El Al but not exclusively, has a davening story. Whether it was being surrounded by shucklers, awoken with a request to join a minyan, attacked by a bag when someone opens the overhead compartment to take out their tallit and tefillin, or just mesmerized but the struggles of people to pass the beverage cart to get to or from their seats for a minyan.  And these are just anecdotes from my most recent flight on El Al (which by the way does offer some tefilla guidelines).  By all time favorite anecdote was the religious woman next to the window who had a blush kit with a mirror and a special Tefilat Haderech engraved into the leather case.

I think that reading some rabbis responsas on travelling tefilla frames the character of prayer in general for the individual as they relate to the group of worshipers.  Rabbi Herschel Schachter refers to it as a common mistake people make when travelling by airplane.  He writes clearly in strong Orthodox terminology: 

Another common mistake people make is regarding davening with a minyan. The Talmud emphasizes the importance of tefillah btzibur; and one who davens with a minyan stands a much better chance of having his prayers answered than one who lacks a minyan. However, it is highly improper for the chazzan of a minyan on an airplane to shout at the top of his lungs to enable the other mispalelim to hear him over the airplane noise, and thereby wake up all the passengers around him. It is true that there is a halachic principle of kofin al hamitzvos, i.e. that beis din has an obligation to force people to observe the mitzvos even when they're not interested in doing so, but this only applies when pressuring an individual will result in his becoming observant. However, when Orthodox Jews disturb non-observant Jewish passengers with their davening, the non-observant passengers sill remain non-observant and now just have another point about which to be upset with the Orthodox. The practice of the Orthodox passengers under such circumstances appears simply as an act of harassment. Rather than having accomplished the hidur mitzvah of davening tefillah btzibur, they have violated lifnei iver by causing the non-observant passengers to become more antagonistic towards shemiras hamitzvos. The shouting tone of voice employed by the shaliach tzibbur to overcome the noise on the airplane clearly does not constitute a kavod hatefillah.

The halacha states that when traveling, if it is too difficult to stand for shemoneh esrei even the "amidah" may be recited while seated. On a short flight of an hour and a half to Canada, it is more correct to daven the entire tefillah while still buckled in, in a sitting position. On the long flight to Eretz Yisroel it is healthier not to sit the entire time; walking about somewhat helps the blood circulation in one's legs. As such, there is nothing wrong with standing for shemoneh esrei, provided that there's no turbulence at that time. However, it is still not proper to gather a minyan together near the washrooms, disturbing all the other passengers and the stewardesses. As much as various Torah giants of our generation have expressed their opposition to such minyanim on airplanes, their message has not yet been accepted. 

He concludes with a nice blessing for safe travels and then cautions "all those traveling to Eretz Yisroel should have a safe trip, but keep in mind - these minyanim are shelo b'ratzon chachamim!"  I find this last statement the most terrific sentiment - that by joining in these prayer groups one is violating the wisdom of the sages. This always seemed counter intuitive for those that feel pressed to daven out of obligation.  Another point worth noting is that some sages and rabbis disagree (Rabbi Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg to name one) and feel that there should be a minyan on the plane and that is a "preference" to join. I also enjoyed reading the comments in the Yeshiva World News forum on this topic with some outstanding perspectives shared there.

Elli Fischer, in his blog On the Contrary discussed the topic at hand (posted in 2008) and points to a phenomenally challenging question of when to daven on plane:

 Are zmanim (halachic appointed times) calculated based on geographical realities or human realities? Is it about the place or the person?

I did witness to elderly men arguing about this last week, which in itself was bothering the passengers around them.

Let me conclude with a happy Chabad story of a man davening in front of 300 people in his bulkhead seat that will be more of an inspiration to daven, than answer where or when you should do daven.  

Do You Hear the Cry?

This is a famous story in the Jewish world, and was often retold by Rav Yehuda Amital zt"l as one of the founding educational principles of his yeshiva, and I felt inspired to share it here with you:

The founder of Chabad, Rabbi Schneur Zalman of Liadi, known as the Ba'al Ha-Tanya, was studying Torah in the end room of a railroad flat.  Two rooms away there was a baby sleeping.  In the middle room, his grandson, the Tzemach Tzedek, was learning.  Suddenly, the Ba'al Ha-tanya, heard the baby cry.  The elder rebbe rose from his studying, passed through the room where his grandson was studying, and went to the next room to soothe the baby to sleep.  Meanwhile, his grandson was too involved in his studies to notice the baby crying.  On returning to his room, the Ba’al Ha-Tanya told his grandson to stop learning.  He proclaimed, “If someone is studying Torah and fails to hear a baby’s cry, there is something very wrong with his learning.” 

I think for teaching tefilla, there is the same standard of application. How do we teach our students this precious lesson?

One way is to really address the power of prayer - not just for the individual, but its effect on other people outside of your personal room. 

What are you Reading this High Holiday?

This time of year I see a lot of buzz about new reading material for the Yamim Noraim, the High Holy Days (also known as the Playoffs of Prayer). Koren Publishers have come out with a new Mahzor authored by Chief Rabbi Dr. Lord Jonathan Sacks.

This is a very interesting trend, in my humble opinion. Consider that Rav Soloveitchik had a machzor published in his name by the OU in 2006 with his insights (for those who don't know Rav Solveitchik zt"l died in 1993).

What is driving this urge for so many people to have supplementary reading material for the extended service? The Center for the Jewish Future will surely be publishing its "Rosh Hashana-to-Go" series as will a message from chancellor of JTS and updated information from the Union for Reform Judaism.

Are people SO bored during the davening on the Yamim Noraim that there is a need to distribute new and current inspirational material? Is it wrong to bring The New Yorker to shul for an interesting read? I think that a lot of the specialized publications reflect that most people do not sincerely connect with the tefilla experience while it is actually happening. In many synagogues the most popular parts of the service are either the sofar blasts, the classic tunes, and the rabbi's sermon. What would it take to get people to learn to focus on the tefilla with some passion?

One final comment to slightly contradict my message today: One of the best preparatory books that I have read is Preparing Your Heart for the High Holy Days (1996) by Olitzky, Sabath, and Wolpe. It is a "guided jorunal' that gives some practical and thoughtful tips to getting spiritually ready to stand and daven before our creator. The key positive aspect of this book is that it is meant to be read before the actual holiday - and is not intended to be a two day reading to lift you up.

What are you reading this Elul season?