Prayer for Fallen IDF Soldiers and Vitcims of Terror

In Israel, we have begun to mark Yom HaZikaron, Remembrance Day for Fallen IDF Soldiers and Victims of Terror.  The following is the IDF's Chief Cantor singing the El Maeli Rachmim prayer in 2011:

I am generally not a 'fan' of chazanut - mostly because I was Hebraicly illiterate as a child and didn't like my shul's tunes.  Also, it was very showy, in the sense of the chazan sang (read performed) and the rest of us watched.  This tefilla give me the chills each year, mainly because of the gravity of the day and shadow of national loss - but I also think I truly understand and identify with the words.  May there memory be for a blessing.

Rabbi Akiva's Davening Style

When he was with the congregation, he would pray quickly so as not to be a burden on those praying with him (who would respectfully wait for him to finish). But when he prayed alone, one could leave him in one corner and afterwards find him in another corner, due to his many bows and prostrations. (Talmud Berachot 31a)

How do you make your davening more than a performance?

Watching You Daven

How does your davening change when you know someone is watching you?  I am not speaking about your teacher or rabbi, who might peek over to see if you are chatting with a neighbor, on the right page or have fallen asleep (I have seen this last one quite a bit).

I just got off an airplane trip where it was apparent that the person sitting next to me was so fascinated at the Jewish approach to davening that he was carefully studying each and every one of my moves.  For me, this emphasized the performance aspect to our worship in that we are proscribed to follow the directions and script of the specific tefilla. One equally needs to imbue their personal imprint onto the text and make it a 'service of the heart' but how honest can it be when you know another person is watching you?  

I have had this feeling before, when I first was the shaliach tzibur, leading the tefilla. As the leader I appropriated my concentration to proper enunciation, hitting the exact starting points and choosing good tunes and neglected the greater necessity to put my heart into the words that were exiting your mouth. Further as the leader it has happened (only to me?) that I was more fearful and concerned of the people staring behind me than the greater audience in the heavens which led me to have a near Olympic focus on the performance.  

Someone is always watching you daven - I figure the important lesson is that you need to have tefilla attitude that you must purely connect to your prayers and do your best, regardless of who may actually be paying attention.  

The Children's Siddur to Buy or Not to Buy

So I have small children and my wife and I are trying to educate them to be connected to tefilla.  We started with the basic one used in our shul:

It has its advantages and disadvantages - one disadvantage being that it doesn't have "Ashrei" - one of the most popular parts of tefilla.  Another disadvantage is that the spine is very thin and won't survive intensive prayer nor play davening. Meanwhile the graphics are good and my kids love to use it (while it lasts).

Koren Publishers came out last year with a more developed version of a children's siddur.

Seems to me like similar graphics and approach to tefilla, but with some more structure and meat to the siddur.

Today I came across what I must think is the worst siddur that I have come across yet, and that is saying much considering the two dimensional nature of Artscroll publishing.

Apparently Dudu's Fisher's siddur comes with an CD (featured above - same cover on the siddur) and lots of spirit and excitement. I am in some very weird way embrassed by this siddur and its efforts to solely teach the peformance of the prayers without much mention of a self-reflective or mediatiive dimension.  Indded my frustration may stem from my more exclusive focus on teenagers and adult tefilla experiences, but oh how I loathe that this approach is exclusivley pushed as if prayer is a team sport!

Of relevance is Daniel Rose's query in today's Lookjed in which he is reseraching about children's siddurim:

I am doing some initial research into Jewish Day School Siddur use. I am interested in understanding what a school looks for in a siddur for grades 1-4 (ages 6-10). Which siddur do use in your school in these grades? In your school is the siddur primarily used for its text (to learn the tefillot) or do you (or do you think you would like to) use a school siddur as a teaching resource for teaching tefilla? What do you/would you teach from the siddur (Reading? Tefilla skills? Hilchot tefilla? Tefilla themes and ideas?) Does the siddur you use (or would you like it to) come as part of a curriculum with a teacher's resource packet/booklet?

Any feedback you could give is gratefully received (rose.danielj@gmail.com).

I encourage you to share your expreinces of what your kids or students may be using to daven and hope that it will benefit other parents and teachers.  And if you are in the process of writing or publishing a new children's siddur, let us know!

Intentions and Performance

In reaction to recent post about davening and travelling, a reader shared the following source and insight and I wanted to pass it on for your intellectual digestion:

The Shulchan Aruch w/Mishnah Brurah 183:11 states: If one was traveling, and ate while walking/moving, one need not sit for Birchas Hamazon if the delay caused by sitting for Birchas Hamazon will disturb the concentration on the beracha, and one may bentch while walking/moving.

The emphasis being concentration. IMHO in the area of davening chazal (our sages) were always more concerned with kavannah (intention) then the technical execution. It is, l’tzaareynu (to our sadness) a more recent phenomena where the external appearance has taken precedence over the internal connectedness.

Intention is one of the most difficult aspects to teach a child; considering the numerous outside social pressures and outlets that influence children to act, pretend, or deceive, how are educators to go about teaching not only the knowledge of ritual, but the heart of the matter behind such crucial performances? 

Is There an Age to Start Growing your Spiritual Side?

I think this is a fair question to ask.

This thought was instigated by the reading/hearing of the weekly Torah portion in synagogue.  In Bamidbar, also known as the book of Numbers, we learn about the census of the Israelites in the wilderness.  The criteria for counting the people really is for a military purpose in that the desert was a staging ground for the eventual and supposed swift move to Israel.  Further, the essential criteria is for men "from the age of 20, all those that went to fight" (1:3) was  clarifying who could go out to war.

The tribe of Levi was not counted with their brethren, and were selected out for a different purpose - to serve in the Mishkan (the travelling Tabernacle that was the precursor to the Temple).With a careful reading, one can see that the Levites are counted from one month and older, yet they will only serve in the Mishkan from age 30 to age 50.  Thus their training and education for their spiritual burden begins at a much earlier age as well as their actual career of practice is limited to a period of peek performance.  Juxtapose this to the military men where there is no specific criteria beyond their age (note even physicality), there is a stark difference in their call to duty.

I first digested this point in reading Gideon Weitzman's Sparks of Light a few years ago.  Weitzman, a delightful teacher and scholar on the philosophy of Rav Kook, highlights this differing roles between the national entity and spiritual component and argues that this set up was to guard a balance for the nation to "survive and thrive".

One of the most influential books that I have ever read was As a Driven Leaf by Milton Sternberg - which if you haven't read, then what are you waiting for. The book is a historical fictitious account of the life of Elisha Ben Abuye. Sternberg, in sharing the travails of the protagonist, cites the enigmatic Mishna in Pirkei Avit chapter 4:20:

Elisha the son of Abuye would say: One who learns Torah in his childhood, what is this comparable to? To ink inscribed on fresh paper. One who learns Torah in his old age, what is this comparable to? To ink inscribed on erased paper.

Connecting to the idea presented in the beginning of the post - must spiritual people be nurtured for a longer time and thus before they may be corrupted from complex or negative thoughts?  Is there a latent message in the text promoting the notion of Tabula Rasa?

As a parent AND teacher, tis a daunting task - to raise moral and good children who will strive to care for their world and the people in their community.  And we know that we have to start at a young age to impart habits and values and not just wait to our young people have the physical maturity to "take" responsibility" (I have previously written about the issue with the age of bar/bat mitzvahs). But how can we properly prepare to shape the soulful side and properly measure our effectiveness?

Caring to Care (and to Daven)

I am reading and rereading Seth Godin's manifesto Stop Stealing Dreams on transforming education.  I have previously commented on this but on a more meta level.  Now, with tefilla education on my mind, I wanted to share the following two excerpts:

41. Judgment, skill, and attitude

Those are the new replacements for obedience.

We sometimes (rarely) teach skill, but when it comes to judgment and attitude, we say to kids and their parents: you’re on your own.

Here’s what I want to explore: Can we teach people to care?

I know that we can teach them not to care; that’s pretty easy. But given the massive technological and economic changes we’re living through, do we have the opportunity to teach productive and effective caring? Can we teach kids to care enough about their dreams that they’ll care enough to develop the judgment, skill, and attitude to make them come true?

42. Can you teach Indian food?

It’s not easy to find young Anglo kids in Cleveland or Topeka who crave Tandoori chicken or Shrimp Vindaloo. And yet kids with almost the same DNA in Mumbai eat the stuff every day. It’s clearly not about genetics.

Perhaps households there approach the issue of food the way school teaches a new topic. First, kids are taught the history of Indian food, then they are instructed to memorize a number of recipes, and then there are tests. At some point, the pedagogy leads to a love of the food.

Of course not.

People around the world eat what they eat because of community standards and the way culture is inculcated into what they do. Expectations matter a great deal. When you have no real choice but to grow up doing something or eating something or singing something, then you do it.

If culture is sufficient to establish what we eat and how we speak and ten thousand other societal norms, why isn’t it able to teach us goal setting and passion and curiosity and the ability to persuade?

It can.

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I think this is a powerful confrontation for every educator to consider and specifically for those preaching/modeling a moral and religious practice. The point in 41 is of paramount importance - are we really teaching kids to care or to model/mimic that they care?  While teaching the skills and history of a performative act, we must also channel energy into how to own the act out of school and without grades, or parents, or peers.

Godin's point in section 42 is a clever framing of a cultural inheritance and the challenge of choice.  Following the argument, perhaps educators need just to sharpen their goal setting and passion involved in teaching tefilla. Sounds almost easy.

We Pray Just to Make it Today

What would it take for a Jewish singer or religious leader to produce a video like Minister Stanley Kirk Burell did in 1991?  Check out Minister Burell's, aka MC Hammer, hit song Pray: 

"Pray" apparently placed in the Top Ten charts in both the US and the UK - I am NOT sure there is any evidence that this encouraged more people to pray or attend prayer gatherings. 

One serious comment - performance is a key aspect to understand the agency of tefilla and all educators struggle to identify how teach the technique to preform prayer and the mindset to imbue meaning into it. With pop culture, and especially music performers, there is a natural grace and energy that connects with the audience, particularly in live performances.  How can educators harness the energy of the concert hall and even the ipod into a minyan?